Commuting is fun!

A rather large woman (350lbs + ) sat next to me on the T today. I now know what it would smell like if I let some onions, shrimp, and sea scallops sit out in the sun for a week then dumped a whole bottle of Georgio Armani perfume on it.
For any of you who can't imagine what that would smell like; I can sum it up in one word:

Terrible.

Thanks lady. I know this recession has hit everyone hard, but soap is still pretty cheap. So is water. Hell, you don't even need the water! Just wedge a bar of Ivory soap in between that cavernous hell you call an ass crack, and the violent slapping / grinding / vibrations of your ass from walking 3 feet, combined with the buckets of sweat you obviously produce, should create enough lather and scent to at least minimize the smell of rotting carcass. You malodorous hag. You are the type of beast that gives fat people a bad rap about smelling bad. My god, it's rainy out: Go stand under a damn drain pipe and hose off.
Thankfully she got off a few stops before me, but unfortunately the stain and ass reek on the seat was left for everyone to enjoy. Some one call the HAZMAT team, the stain is starting to foam up!
God I love commuting!